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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 24, 2017 11:35pm-12:36am PDT

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i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i appreciate that. [ cheers and applause ] i do. i want to apologize. we had so much fun stuff planned for you tonight. we worked on it all day. we had a "bachelor in paradise," kids going back to school. we were going to talk about -- there's a horrible new pair of uggs we were going to discuss. i even thought hey, maybe we won't talk about donald trump much tonight. and then he opened his mouth and all manner of stupid came out. [ laughter ] and i'm not joking when i say i would feel more comfortable if cersei lannister was running this country at this point. [ laughter ] this press conference today. i don't know if you saw this. i know a lot of you are here on vacation. it started -- it was supposed to be a press conference about infrastructure, and it ended with our president making an angry and passionate defense of white supremacists. it was like if your book club meeting turned into a cock fight. it really was remarkable. [ laughter ] i don't know who decided it would be a good idea to send him out there to talk to reporters today. but whoever did obviously misread his state of mind and the mood in this country right now.
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the president -- i feel like i can say this with reasonable certainty. the president is completely unhinged. the wheels are off the wagon and hurtling toward the moon right now. [ laughter ] i have some clips to show you. and before i do i want to say clips are one thing. you know, they're edited down. we choose them for content. but if you get a chance go online and watch the whole press conference from beginning to end. it's astonishing. the only thing i can compare it to is remember when mike tyson bit evander holyfield's ear off? and then he bit his other ear off? [ laughter ] this was the presidential equivalent of that. trump wasn't even scheduled to take questions today. he was going to give a brief update on an executive order he signed to boost infrastructure. but reporters wanted to ask about his weak response to what happened in charlottesville, and things went infrastrucking nuts from there. [ laughter ] >> honestly if the press were not fake and if it was honest the press would have said what i said was very nice. but unlike you and -- excuse me. unlike you and unlike the media, before i make a statement i like to know the facts.
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>> jimmy: that's right. he's very careful about that. [ laughter ] like the fact that ted cruz's father killed jfk and obama was born in kenya. he's a stickler for the facts. [ laughter ] so when they got to his statement about putting the blame for the murder and the hate crimes in charlottesville on many sides, not just the nazis and klan members, a statement he tried to soften yesterday by specifically denouncing those groups, not only did he go back to his original statement. he doubled down and actually defended their actions. >> when you say the alt-right, define alt-right to me. you define it. go ahead. >> i'm saying -- >> no, define it for me. >> senator mccain defined them as the same group -- >> okay, what about the alt-left that came charging -- excuse me. what about the alt-left that came charging at as you say the alt-right? do they have any semblance of guilt? let me ask you this. what about the fact they came charging, that they came charging with clubs in their hands, swinging clubs? do they have any problem? i think they do.
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>> jimmy: i think we do. [ laughter ] i think is -- i think we might need an alt-president right now. >> i will tell you something. i watched this very closely, much more closely than you people watched it. and you have -- you had a group on one side that was bad and you had a group on the other side that was also very violent. and nobody wants to say that. but i'll say it right now. >> jimmy: don't say it right now. [ laughter ] don't ever. so he put blame on both sides. but he also had kind words for both sides. >> neo-nazis started this. they came to charlottesville, they showed up in charlottesville -- >> excuse me. excuse me. they didn't -- you had some very bad people in that group. but you also had people that were very fine people. on both sides. >> jimmy: very fine people on both sides. let's look at some of the very fine people on the trump side there. this is from the rally on friday. >> jews will not replace us!
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>> jimmy: so here's the thing. if you're with a group of people and they're chanting things like "jews will not replace us" and you don't immediately leave that group, you are not a very fine person. [ cheers and applause ] and by the way, today david duke, who is a very fine former grand wizard of the kkk, tweeted "thank you president trump for your honesty and courage to tell the truth about charlottesville." when david duke thanks you for your honesty and courage, something has gone awry. [ laughter ] and then after all this, after 15 straight minutes of unprecedented insanity, and you really should watch the whole thing, our president, as he left the podium, said this. >> thank you all very much. thank you. thank you. >> do you plan to go to charlottesville, mr. president? >> good afternoon and welcome to "the lead." and -- wow. that was something else. he's still talking. let's stay listening. >> it's in charlottesville. you'll see. >> where is -- >> it is the winery.
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i mean, i know a lot about charlottesville. charlottesville is a great place that's been very badly hurt over the last couple of days. i own actually one of the largest wineries in the united states. it's in charlottesville. >> jimmy: he can't resist a plug. he just can't. [ laughter ] my wine is fantastic. especially the white. [ laughter ] there are some very fine bottles. [ cheers and applause ] this is so crazy. everybody's been asking, you think trump's going to last four years? i'm wondering now if any of us are going to last four years. [ laughter ] this is -- i haven't screamed at my tv this much since mcdreamy died really is the last time. [ laughter ] the only person who's happy right now is sean spicer. he's doing backflips wherever the hell he is. i've been thinking about this. i want to speak to those of you who voted for donald trump. and first of all, i want to say i get it. i actually do.
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you're unhappy with the way things were going. you wanted someone to come in and shake things up. you didn't want business as usual. nothing ever seems to get done. it's always the same. these candidates make a lot of promises that go nowhere. it happens over and over again. and you're sick of it. and so this guy shows up riding down a golden escalator. he's not part of the political establishment. in fact, he's the opposite of that. he's a billionaire. maybe. he's written books. he's not politically correct. he's not even correct usually. [ laughter ] he talks tough. he wants to drain the swamp. sometimes he can be funny. he rips into his opponents in a way politicians never do, have never done before. and you thought, you know what? this guy's different and that's what i want. different. let's roll the dice, let's get him in there, have him run the country like a business. cut the dead weight, toughen everyone up. let's shake this etch-a-sketch hard and start over. so you vote for him. you pick him over jeb bush and ted cruz and john kasich and a dozen other republicans whose names we forgot. and ultimately he beats them. he strolls in, he beats all of these guys. these guys who have been in politics forever. and then he beats the ultimate political insider, hillary
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clinton, a woman who's been running for office -- a woman who ran for president of her mother's uterus in the womb. forever. [ laughter ] he beats her. everyone said he couldn't. everyone said he wouldn't. but he did. and it's exciting because this is your guy. you picked a horse like 35-1 and somehow it paid off. so now he's the president. and it starts off okay. meets with president obama and they seem to have a nice conversation. then he moves into the white house. right off the bat he's angry at the media for reporting the crowd at his inauguration was smaller than he thought it was. which was weird but not important really. and he claimed and stopped raining when he was speaking at his inaugural address, which everyone could see it was raining. but okay. it was his first week. you give him a break. sew gets in there, hires his daughter. he hires his son-in-law. demands an investigation of voter fraud even though he won the election. [ laughter ] he calls the prime minister of australia and hangs up on him. he won't shake angela merkel's hand. he doesn't know frederick douglass isn't alive.
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he claims he can't release his tax returns because they're under audit, then says he's not going to release them at all. he signs a ban on muslims that he claims isn't a ban on muslims. he compliments the president of the philippines for murdering drug addicts. hours after a terror attack in london he starts a fight with their mayor. after criticizing obama for playing golf he plays golf every weekend. he accidentally shares classified intelligence with the russians. he tweets a typo at midnight, then wakes up and claims it was a secret message. [ laughter ] he praises jim comey in october, calls him a coward in june. he fires him. he lashes out at his own attorney general for recusing himself from an investigation. he hires the mooch, he fires the mooch. he bans the transgendered in the military without telling anyone in the military he's doing it. he plays chicken with kim jong un. and that's just some of the list. if i went through all of it it would be longer than the menu at the cheesecake factory. it would be huge. [ applause ]
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so here he is by every reasonable account, and i'm using his own words here, he is a total disaster. he screws up royally every day. sometimes two or three times a day. we can't keep up with it. things come out of nowhere. every day there's something nuts. but you've been trying to ignore it because you don't want to admit to these smug annoying liberals that they were right. that's the last thing you want to do. but the truth is deep down inside you know you made a mistake. you know you picked the wrong guy. and it isn't getting better. it's getting worse. so you can do one of two things. you can dig in like chris christie at a hometown buffet. [ laughter ] or you can treat the situation like you would if you'd put "star wars" wallpaper up in the kitchen. all right, i got caught up. i was excited. i made a mistake. [ laughter ] and now it needs to go. well, now he does need to go. so it's time for especially you who voted for him -- [ cheers and applause ]
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-- to tell him to go. please. think about it. it makes it -- he doesn't even want to be president. he's miserable. but he won't resign because his ego is too big. he can't do it. so either we impeach him, which could happen but it might not, or we do what he would do in this situation. we negotiate. we make a deal. and i know this is going to sound nuts, but i have an idea. so hear me out on this. i think this could solve all our problems. we're all going to have to be on board with this. instead of president we make donald trump king. [ laughter ] okay? we make him the first king of america. think about it. england has a queen. she lives in a palace. everyone makes a big deal when she shows up. she has no power at all. in the morning they put a crown on her head, she stands there and waves, she goes back to bed. that's it. if the queen were to walk out on the balcony and open her shirt nothing over there would change. the queen could be completely bonkers, it would make no difference at all. she'd still be queen, it would still be fine. that's what we need to do with donald trump.
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we need to set him up in a castle, maybe in florida. lead him to the top. and then lock the door to that castle. [ cheers and applause ] forever. everyone can call him your highness. maybe we give him a scepter that he can hold. he can sit there watching "fox and friends," maybe chip golf balls out of the window of his tower. there's no way he turns that deal down. if we tell him he's going to be the king. we've got to get creative here. because enough is -- desperate times call for desperate measures. and i'm asking you, the people who supported donald trump, to step in and help for the good of this country. mike pence is ready. he's boring. he's relatively sane. he looks like a neighbor you might borrow a lawnmower from. [ laughter ] let's get him in there before it's too late. let's make america great britain again. [ cheers and applause ] >> there's never been a greater division just about than what we have right now. the hatred, the animosity. i will bring people together.
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i'm going to bring people together. you watch. we're going to bring people together. >> jimmy: well, we are watching. we'll be right back with floyd mayweather. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by domino's.
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♪ >> jimmy: hi. welcome back to the show. tonight, she is an emmy nominee for her work on a little-known tv program called "this is us." chrissy metz is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] and then a very funny man. he's a regular at the new york distilling company in williamsburg. comedian charles gould is here. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night on the show the very funny zach galifianakis will be here, lake bell and we'll have music from midland.
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on thursday salma hayek, jay ellis and bearstronaut will be here. [ cheers and applause ] please join us for that. our first guest tonight retired from boxing with a perfect record of 49-0. his only loss came on "dancing with the stars." [ laughter ] on august 26th in las vegas he returns to the ring to fight ufc champion conor mcgregor in the unlikeliest match-up since batman versus superman. please welcome floyd "money" mayweather. [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing? thanks for coming. it's great to have you here. >> thanks. >> jimmy: i know you're training right now. this is a serious time for you, isn't it? >> it's cool. >> jimmy: how are you feeling? >> i feel like money. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you have the nicest teeth of any boxer i've ever met. you really do have beautiful teeth.
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>> yeah. >> jimmy: do people tell you that often p? >> defense. defense. >> jimmy: that's right. you never get hit so nothing ever happens. >> that's what it's about. >> jimmy: don't you think in a time like this, and i know this is a big fight, that it would be a great message if instead of fighting you and conor get in the ring and you sit down and instead of fighting you just talk your differences out? [ laughter ] wouldn't that be a wonderful message? >> no. >> jimmy: it wouldn't? >> no. we want to give people what they want to see. excitement. >> jimmy: all right. you can do that too. >> yes. >> jimmy: they're saying this is going to be the biggest fight of all time. do you think it will be? >> it's going at the right pace. at the pace right now that we're going it's going to be bigger than the pacquiao fight. and -- >> jimmy: that was a big fight. >> i talked about this before. i feel like i owe the fans. since me and pacquiao didn't get the fans a blockbuster, me and mcgregor should give the fans a blockbuster. >> jimmy: you're going to bust his block is what's going to happen, right? [ applause ] >> yes. >> jimmy: do you genuinely dislike conor mcgregor? >> yes. [ laughter ]
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i don't like him at all. >> jimmy: does it help you when you don't like the guy you're fighting to train and to be motivated? >> it really doesn't matter, you know. if the payday there and the fans want to see it, then we're going to make it happen. >> jimmy: do you dislike manny pacquiao? >> no, i don't dislike manny. >> jimmy: did you dislike him before the fight? >> no. >> jimmy: is there a thing that happens after the fight where you actually start to have an affection for the other guy, where you feel like okay -- no, i don't mean in a weird way. where you're like, you know -- like i remember being on the playground -- [ laughter ] >> go ahead. i'm listening. >> jimmy: will you make love to conor mcgregor -- [ laughter ] >> uh-uh. >> jimmy: that's not what i mean. but it doesn't matter. it makes no difference. this is something that -- i think this is an interesting fight just because it's different than any other fight that's come before. >> yes. >> jimmy: but this is something that's painted on the wall at conor mcgregor's gym. he has a -- i guess that's you being punched hard in the face
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by him. did you guys pose for this or was this just -- [ laughter ] >> i guess it's something that they just made up. >> jimmy: something they made up. do you think they're going to paint over that when it goes as everyone seems to think it's going to go? >> i'm pretty sure. >> jimmy: you should buy that gym from him and knock it down with a wrecking ball. [ laughter ] >> we can do that. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that would be something. you could potentially make -- how much money could you reasonably walk out of this fight with? >> 350 million. >> jimmy: $350 million. >> yes. >> jimmy: wow. you love -- i know you love -- you love money, right? [ laughter ] >> it's cool. it's cool. >> jimmy: how did you get the nickname money? did you name yourself money or was somebody else -- >> they just started calling me that. >> jimmy: they just started calling you that. you always have a lot of money with you. >> a little bit. >> jimmy: i have a picture of -- this is from instagram. you're on what looks like a private plane. >> my private plane. >> jimmy: your private plane. sorry.
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with a whole lot of money and it looks like a couple of bowls of ketchup maybe also. [ laughter ] >> no. those are cup holders. >> jimmy: oh, those are cup holders. okay. [ laughter ] sorry. i don't have a private plane. what do you do with all this money? i mean, like -- do you use it? >> enjoy it. >> jimmy: are you using the cash? >> you know, cash is king. >> jimmy: do you have an atm card? >> i'm the human atm. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how do you even get this much money? what do you do? >> work hard. >> jimmy: i know that. but like do you go to the bank and say i need all of it, i want all of the money in your bank? >> no, that's not what you do. you order it. you can order it. >> jimmy: oh, you can. >> and when you order a certain amount, when you order millions of dollars, a brinks truck comes to your home. >> jimmy: wow. why not just drive around in one of those things? [ laughter ] >> at one particular time i had a brinks truck. >> jimmy: you did. >> i sold it. yes. >> jimmy: who did you sell that to? >> another guy who loved money.
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>> jimmy: another guy who loved money. [ laughter ] wow. [ applause ] so how many punches do you think conor will land in the entirety of the fight? >> he's going to land shots because with this fight i'm going straight ahead. normally it's more taking my time, being very cautious. but this time i'm going straight ahead. >> jimmy: why are you doing that? to give him -- >> i want -- >> jimmy: to make it more even? you're giving him a handicap? >> the fans deserve it. >> jimmy: really? >> and the afterparty's going to be at my strip club. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, it is? you have your own strip club. >> yes. girl collection. >> jimmy: is it really called girl collection? >> yes. because we have a collection of the most prettiest women around the world. >> jimmy: and who's collecting those? >> well, i guess the customers are going to be collecting them. >> jimmy: they're going to be collecting. >> they're going to be collecting. >> jimmy: so you will have a party, though, that the general public is invited to? >> absolutely. after the fight. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. >> jimmy: and you will be there? >> yes. >> jimmy: at girl collection. >> yes. i'm going to be collecting. >> jimmy: you're going to be
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collecting. you're going to make $350 million in one night and then you've got to go make another three grand afterwards? [ laughter ] >> make about 300,000. >> jimmy: $300,000. >> it won't hurt. >> jimmy: yeah. wow. and you don't have to give lap dances or anything. >> oh, no. i don't get lap dances. last time i got a lap dance was 20 years ago. >> jimmy: really? that long ago? >> yes. 20 years ago. >> jimmy: why? >> just because. >> jimmy: you own a strip club. >> yes. but i don't have to get a dance because i own a strip club. >> jimmy: well, i mean, yeah, you kind of do. [ laughter ] >> no. no. >> jimmy: it's a bad message to send to the customers. [ laughter ] >> no. i got into the strip club business because i knew that the breasts, vagina, music and alcohol will never go out of style. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: floyd mayweather's here. we'll be right back after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with floyd mayweather. he's fighting conor mcgregor on august 26th. it's a big fight, obviously. you live -- you have a house in las vegas. >> yes. >> jimmy: are you allowed to bet on yourself in this fight? >> yes. >> jimmy: you are? >> yes. >> jimmy: and will you bet on yourself? >> yes. >> jimmy: you're not allowed to bet against yourself, i would assume. >> i'm never going to bet against myself. never. >> jimmy: you know, the odds are lopsided. obviously, you're a big favorite. but i feel like it's such a strong bet. i feel like i might bet a lot of money to win a little bit of money on you. >> it's worth it. >> jimmy: you think it's worth it. >> whatever you bet and you don't -- and if you don't win, i'll give it back to you. >> jimmy: would you really? >> you got my word on it. >> jimmy: this is the best deal ever. [ applause ] wow.
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i'm very excited right now. [ laughter ] so there are a lot of different kinds of bets. it's not just who wins or how they win. there are a lot of different bets. and i want to ask you about some of these because these are real what they call prop bets. >> prop bets. >> jimmy: will conor mcgregor get knocked down or out? it's 1 to 3. you bet $300 to win $100. will he get knocked down or out? >> i mean, that's a secret i'm going to tell you. i can't tell the world. >> jimmy: okay. >> i don't want to let everything out the bag. >> jimmy: do you feel like there's any chance this fight will go the distance? >> absolutely not. >> jimmy: no way, right? >> absolutely not. >> jimmy: will justin bieber walk into the ring with you? >> i'm not really sure. you know, i think he's going through a lot right now. i don't think he's really in music, he's more into church right now. so i'm praying for him and wishing him nothing but the best. he's going through a lot right now. >> jimmy: oh, he is. so that's a good one to bet
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against then. [ laughter ] [ applause ] we're all going through a lot right now. that's great. will lil' wayne be walking into the ring with you? >> it's possible. >> jimmy: it's possible. will lil' wayne wear a shirt during the walkout? if you bet $200 on yes, you can win $100. if you bet $100 on no, you could win $160. >> i'm not sure. >> jimmy: you don't have any -- you don't tell him no shirt or anything like that? >> i let them do whatever they want to do. my job is to go out there and fight. >> jimmy: do you think that you would -- well, what if conor kicks you in the head? what are you going to do? i know it's against the rules. >> that's a fine. that's a huge fine. i don't think he want to lose probably 90% of his money or even more. >> jimmy: oh, is it 90%? >> i don't know what it's going to be, but it's going to be a heavy fine. >> jimmy: you didn't have to sign anything like that that says you won't kick him in the head, right? >> i don't do that. i follow by the queensbury rules of boxing. >> jimmy: right.
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honestly, isn't it in a way like a rugby player trying to play in the super bowl, like go to the top level of the sport? >> no, because conor mcgregor is undefeated standing up. when he stands up and fight toe to toe, he's undefeated like myself. he lost three times, but the only time he lost was when he was on the ground in the octagon. but standing up he's undefeated. >> jimmy: but if he's on the ground in boxing he's definitely going to lose, right? [ laughter ] so it's really kind of a -- >> i mean, i look forward to putting him there. i do look forward to putting him there. >> jimmy: it's very interesting. is there any chance that once this fight is done and presumably you win that you would fight conor in a mixed martial arts fight? >> as of right now, we've got to get past august 26th. >> jimmy: okay. >> once we get past august 26th, then we could talk about other things. >> jimmy: very interesting. wow. that's interesting. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you might actually answer the question. how much cash can one man carry around? >> probably 50 million.
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>> jimmy: $50 million. >> yes. cash. >> jimmy: how heavy is that? is that how you train? >> i can carry it by myself. me and you couldn't carry it. >> jimmy: $50 million in cash. where are you headed? [ laughter ] >> probably to put it somewhere else. i had to think about that for a while. >> jimmy: i see. >> i have to go put it somewhere else. >> jimmy: well, if you buried it, i hope you remember where it is. [ laughter ] >> if somebody find it they can -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for being here. good luck. the fight is august 26th. saturday. mayweather versus mcgregor. live on showtime pay-per-view. we'll be right back with chrissy metz. a modern way to pay. you excited? it's sold out. don't fret, my friend. i masterpassed it! you can use it online and on your phone
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>> jimmy: hi. we're back. still to come, comedian charles gould. our next guest earned an emmy nomination for her role as kate pearson on tv's most popular show about a dead guy. "this is us" season 2 premieres september 26th. please welcome chrissy metz. [ cheers and applause ] >> gentleman. >> jimmy: what's that?
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>> such a gentleman. you wait for me to sit down. >> jimmy: that's what they say. i am a gentleman. how are you? how are you doing? >> i'm so great. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. >> i'm actually glad to be here. like officially. because i almost -- funny story. i came here ten years ago when i first moved to los angeles, aspiring to be an actress. >> jimmy: oh, really? okay. >> and i almost got kicked out, jimmy. >> jimmy: of this show? >> of your show. >> jimmy: what did you do? >> well, i'll tell you what i did. so i was in the back. finally got tickets. my manager at the time arranged it all because of course you're a broke actor, you're like where can i go for free? see other actors. >> jimmy: it was a compliment and now it's -- >> no, it's a compliment. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. >> there was an actress who i don't remember who it was. vaguely. maybe -- i don't know. anyway, i'm sitting in the back. and i'm from florida. go gators. and she was -- right? and she was a seminole fan. and i think she was also an alum. >> jimmy: oh, she went to fsu. right. okay. >> she did. >> jimmy: so --
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>> and that is -- come on. rivals. for life. it doesn't matter where you're at. you know, like religion is like -- >> jimmy: oh, i know. >> football's religion. >> jimmy: i know how it goes. >> so i'm sitting in the back, and it's during the break. and i'm like go gators! and a security guard comes over. he's like, "ma'am, if you continue to disrupt" -- i was like, continue? i only said it once. of course i'm belligerent because my ego. right? and my friend's like, if you don't shut up and if you get us kicked out of here -- i'm like, fine. so of course the next segment is over. and the commercial break, i'm like go gators! right? she's like, ma'am, please stand up. we're going to have to escort you out. i was like no, no, no, i'm really sorry. i just got carried away. i'm a poor aspiring actor, please don't do this, it's so embarrassing. so here i am officially, and thank god i'm on the couch. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no kidding. that's crazy. oh, boy. it would have been so much better if you'd been thrown out and we had some video we could then cut to. >> right. in jail. >> jimmy: who is the actress you
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had this vicious blood feud with? >> she doesn't know it. but it might have been cheryl hines. i'm not sure. >> jimmy: yes. cheryl hines did go to florida state. >> i know. bless her heart. >> jimmy: wow. >> i love her. i don't love the choice of school. but that's fine. but i'm not sure if it was really her or not. >> jimmy: that is a weird story. >> it is weird. >> jimmy: by the way, are you a boxing fan in general? >> no. >> jimmy: you are not. okay. >> people are like torturing themselves. like torturing each other. there's blood. there's -- i just can't. i'm too sensitive. >> jimmy: you don't like fighting of any kind? >> verbally. i think it's -- like you can joust. [ laughter ] someone's very intelligent. you're like okay, i can handle it. we're on the debate team, like we're doing this. but i think physical -- >> jimmy: no fist fighting. >> i can't. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about this because i know you have a special guest star on "this is us" this season. >> yes. >> jimmy: and his name is sylvester stallone. >> stallone. [ applause ] >> jimmy: and it looks like something happened here. >> actually, he's the most
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lovely and charming -- >> jimmy: then why did you punch him in the face? >> he told me to. >> jimmy: oh, he did? it was one of -- this was his idea? >> well, it's his phone. he actually took the selfie. skills to pay the bills. so i was like, i guess i should punch him. >> jimmy: well, if sylvester stallone says do a picture where you're punching me in the face you have to do a picture where you're punching him in the face. >> he did the face turn, which implied the punch. >> jimmy: right. yes. >> i just was -- >> jimmy: was that fun working with him? >> he's honestly the most kind -- he gave me pearls of wisdom. he was hilarious. >> jimmy: what pearls of wisdom? do you remember any of them? >> yeah. he said -- because i said we have humble beginnings. i started the show with 81 cents in my bank account and obviously with "rocky" he of course wrote -- it was a whole tumultuous beginning and he had nothing. no one was going to hire him. he was a professional extra. so i was like we both started from humble beginnings and we bonded in that way. and then he said, it's so much about resilience and about having a thick skin and about
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just kind of continuing and like pursuing even if you don't think you're going to make it and just keep going. and obviously i've been doing that. >> jimmy: he has such a thick skin he actually sewed his own skin up in "rambo." i don't know if you remember that. >> oh, i remember. >> jimmy: and his role on the show -- what exactly is his role on the show? >> so he is playing -- so it's -- >> jimmy: because milo told me about this. but it was last week and i already forgot. he told us everything. >> oh, he did. i don't want to get fired. basically he's playing the commander of justin hartley's character kevin within the movie. so the movie within the show. >> jimmy: so it's not rambo kills jack. that's not the thing. >> that's not how jack has passed away. for the record. >> jimmy: that would be a hell of a twist for the show. >> it would. >> jimmy: i don't know if it's too late. have you guys shot the whole season? >> we haven't. it's not too late. dan fogleman. >> jimmy: dan fogleman runs the show. i'm sure he'd love that idea. it's a great idea. >> it is a great idea. >> jimmy: or even you get schwarzenegger -- >> i'll pitch it and say it was your idea. >> jimmy: have the terminator kill him. congratulations on your emmy nomination for the show as well.
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[ applause ] your first emmy nomination. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you were secretly in the back of your head expecting it? did you -- >> no. >> jimmy: oh, you were not? >> are you kidding? that is so presumptuous. >> jimmy: well, i don't know. some people are presumptuous. >> it's true. >> jimmy: you weren't. it was a total surprise. >> of course not. >> jimmy: so when the nominations came out, were you kind of listening to see if you were mentioned or you were just totally out of it? >> so truth be told i was getting ready for the potential of the show being nominated, not for personal nominations. we're doing hair and makeup at my apartment. and i was trying to be distracted. i was watching wimbledon and venus is my girl. >> jimmy: all right. >> i was like okay, she's going to distract me, who cares about nominations. i mean, we care but we have to pretend we don't. >> jimmy: part of being an actor. acting like you don't care. >> pretending all the time. >> jimmy: right. >> so it was very funny because the doorbell rang and like my mom's texting, my sister's texting me, and i'm like guys, i'm trying to watch wimbledon. they're like but the
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announcements are on. and she's like if shemar moore says your name -- i'm like this is a whole thing. everybody's putting so much pressure. my boyfriend's trying to console me and literally his hand is shaking. i'm like go to the kitchen or something. everybody's making me more nervous than i need to be. i'm trying to watch tennis. and so we of course put on the telecast of shemar and anna chlumsky announcing. and then he doesn't say my name. my mom's like why didn't he say your name? what's going on? i'm like i don't know, maybe they don't do the supporting category online or on air. so everybody's texting me and my publicist's assistant like scrolling through the internet. flowers arrive. oh, my god. my hairstylist was like okay, all right, everybody. stop. if she doesn't get nominated what's going to happen? and she's like, well, she'll just go to work and have a great day. and i was like, great. and venus was down. i was like, what's going on? so of course scrolling through the 67 pages of the emmy nominations. and luckily she said my name. and she was like oh, chrissy,
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you're nominated. i'm like, is that fact or fiction? is it prediction? what is it? and luckily -- i got the nomination. >> jimmy: there you go. chrissy metz is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] of signature crafted recipes. and features mcdonald's exclusive sriracha mac sauce. a deliciously creamy sauce with just the right amount of spice. paired with crispy onions, fresh baby spinach and kale the signature sriracha sandwich is yours to enjoy on your choice of beef or chicken. pick one up, and take the flavor up. but do it today. because it's only here for a limited time. we don't just want to watch games cable gives us. we want all the teams, no matter where we live- with directv nfl sunday ticket. we want falcons in new york. jets in la. bears in new orleans.
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>> jimmy: we're back with chrissy metz. charles gould is on the way. chrissy, you've been on -- how many game shows have you been on now? >> 100. >> jimmy: tonight you were on a game show on nbc, right? >> "hollywood game night." >> jimmy: do you love game shows? >> i actually do. i'm a little competitive. >> jimmy: which is your favorite all-time? >> to watch or to play? >> jimmy: let's go with both. >> oh, geez. >> jimmy: now it's like you're on a game show. >> i know. see how i set that up? >> jimmy: yes. we'll decide if the answer is right or wrong when you give it. let's get a buzzer ready. >> no pressure. >> jimmy: your favorite game show to watch is? >> i think "$100,000 pyramid." [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: oh, that's incorrect. i'm so sorry. [ laughter ] it's "match game." >> it's "match game." >> jimmy: did you want to take another -- you want to go for it? keep going? >> sure. >> jimmy: your favorite game show to play? >> "match game." [ applause ] [ buzzer ]
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>> jimmy: no. it's the "$20,000 pyramid," unfortunately. you had them reversed. >> sorry. >> jimmy: are you good at that kind of thing? >> here's the thing. your brain literally leaves your body. >> jimmy: when you're doing a game show. >> you're the best contestant at home. you're like how could they not get that? at home you're the best. no. my family came to "family feud." and that was -- i embarrassed myself thoroughly. >> jimmy: your whole family -- >> my sisters and my mom. >> jimmy: who was the most embarrassing member of your family? >> me. >> jimmy: that's good. you always want to be most embarrassing. >> take one for the team. because my mom couldn't -- >> jimmy: did you guys win? what was the family you played against? >> angels from the heavens, bindi irwin's family. >> jimmy: oh, bindi irwin's family. >> she comes to the podium and she's like, steve, before we go on i just want to say chrissy is like such an inspiration. and i'm like -- >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> she's 19 years old now. >> jimmy: just what you need. a 19-year-old telling you you're an inspiration. >> and more eloquent than i could ever dream to be. >> jimmy: did you crush her? >> i -- no. >> jimmy: you didn't.
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>> we almost crushed them. >> jimmy: well, yeah. but you didn't win? >> correct. >> jimmy: okay. well, that's really not almost crushing them. it's almost winning. >> okay. >> jimmy: well, it's very good to see you. congratulations on your emmy nomination. >> thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "this is us" returns to nbc september 26th. chrissy metz, everybody. we'll be right back with charles gould. >> yeah, go gators! ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: our next guest can be seen every tuesday night at the new york distilling company in williamsburg. the rest of the week he stays indoors. please welcome the very funny charles gould! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. my therapist is out of town. he comes back in two weeks. so please laugh. [ laughter ] he would actually really like that joke because i assessed the situation and then i asked for what i wanted. [ laughter ] i asserted myself. that's something we've been working on. that's what i did there. so i'm sorry. actually, you know what? no. i'm not sorry. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
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no, i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have done that. i'm sorry. my last girlfriend won our break-up. if you guys are thinking charles, break-ups aren't a thing you can win or lose, that's true. but also, grow up. this is how you win a break-up. you move on first. that's like 80 points. you start dating someone new. that's like 500 points. and then you post pictures of you and that new person getting cocktails at the bar in the standard hotel. and it's game over, you win, kate. [ applause ] i was looking at my ex-girlfriend's instagram profile the other day. which by the way is how you lose a break-up.
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[ laughter ] and i don't even know why i do that. i don't know if anyone here has ever social media stalked an ex. but it never helps. like i've never walked away from it and been like, that was good. [ laughter ] so she's at the standard hotel with a new guy. tagged the standard hotel. tagged the new guy. i started looking at the new guy's profile. and everything in my body is telling me to hate him. everything is saying hate this man. but he had an awesome summer. [ laughter ] he killed it this summer. i can't take that away from the guy. he had one of those really cool shaved on the side long on top haircuts. he wore little circle sunglasses. he went to the beach twice. [ laughter ] he went kayaking with his friend mark.
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i started looking at mark's profile. [ laughter ] mark i couldn't really get on board with. he was a little too bro-y for me. but he did take time out six weeks ago to go to his sister's graduation. allow me now to say congratulations christina. [ laughter ] [ applause ] yeah. she graduated from the university of minnesota with a degree in english. with her friend margaret. i started looking at margaret's profile. [ laughter ] if there's anything i can tell you about margaret, it's that she loves to party and she loves her dog. [ laughter ] i started looking at margaret's dog's profile. [ laughter ] and then i accidentally liked one of margaret's dog's photos. and i was like, oh, no. are they going to trace this all the way back to me? [ laughter ] so i unliked it. but then i remembered that if
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you like something and you unlike it they can see that you liked it and you unliked it. so i decided i'm just going to like it. because if i'm going to go out i'm going to go out like a g. and then i realized i'd been sitting on the toilet for two hours. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's it for me, guys. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's how gs do it. that was very funny. i want to apologize to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. thanks to our guests. "nightline" is next. thank you very much. that was very funny. good night. thanks for watching. ♪ this is "nightline."
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>> tonight, troll storm. a realtor in a quiet town in montana suddenly flooded with messages of hate, allegedly coordinated by a neo-nazi website. >> you filthy piece of trash. >> go kill yourself you [ bleep ] jewish [ bleep ]. >> what does it all have to do with the white nationalist richard spencer? >> i was told they're going to terrorize me to the brink of suicide. >> plus global sesame. elmo and the gang taking their show on the road. visiting a refugee camp in jordan. >> elmo tried to do his best to cheer them up and make them smile. >> why "sesame street" creates indino

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